Life isn’t treating me that well at the moment.
Last week I broke down, crying uncontrollably down the phone to Mum from my Dad’s house, for many reasons that I just can’t explain on a blog. Let’s just say I felt lonely, unimportant and invisible. Dad didn’t even notice.
I wish that he’d see that I actually exist as well as my brother. My brother’s definitely the apple of his eye: I’m just a girl that he basically knows nothing about. Seriously, if anybody asked him what I want to be when I’m older he wouldn’t be able to answer. He wouldn’t know any of my friends’ names, and he doesn’t take any interest in anything that I do. You probably think that I’m being harsh here, but it’s all true. To him, life is just football and the people that he knows.
As I’ve got a whole week of exams this week, I’m going to be on my own for two days, too. He just leaves me in the sitting room and takes my brother to places far away, and as he watches football all night long I don’t see him in the nights either, so I’m basically on my own for two straight days. I would go out, but his house is in the middle of nowhere, and I don’t have friends that I feel very comfortable with in the village.
I feel incredibly isolated, and my yearning for a city gets greater and greater …
I know this is probably a depressing post, but I feel like this is the only way to let it out. It’s like I’m talking to someone, but nobody really knows who I am so no one can hurt me. Cheesy, right?
Anyway, there’s more to it than that, but I won’t depress you longer 🙂
I won’t write the things that I was going to write as it doesn’t fit in, so be ready for another post in the next couple of days.
Thanks guys, the fact that you read this means the world to me.